”Hey, do you need any help?” she asked.
”No, I think I’m okay,” I have replied a million times over the years.
Sometimes, it’s because I don’t want to impose or be a burden. Other times, I want to make sure the job is done the way I want it done. Maybe I don’t want to deal with having other people involved. Or maybe I just enjoy doing it myself.
It may not be pretty, but this is honestly why I often turn down help.
Then, I was given a task: plan a celebration for one of my children. I was asked to plan it with another person.
I was nervous at first, but with each interaction, I enjoyed the planning more and more. The other person was as excited as I was with the opportunity to help. I took on tasks that I cared about while also receiving suggestions and help for the others. We shared the work, shared the ideas, and somehow made the whole experience better.
Then, something even more amazing happened.
As we began inviting friends to the celebration, I received the familiar offer, “Please let me know if I can help with anything!!”
A bit reluctant, I asked my co-planner for ways others could help.
When I sent out the requests, I was blown away by the responses. People didn’t just agree to help. They responded with genuine enthusiasm and gratitude for being included.
On response said, “I’m so happy you asked!!”
That’s when tears welled in my eyes.
I knew the recipients of the celebration were genuinely being surrounded by love. So many people were coming together to create a picture of love and generosity.
I began to see something I had missed before.
When I refuse to help, I may think I’m making things easier for everyone else. Maybe I’m protecting them from one more obligation or proving that I can handle things on my own.
But I may also be keeping them from the gift of participating. I may be hindering the flow of love, kindness, care, and compassion simply because I’m unwilling to receive it.
A mentor of mine used to say, “The more love, the more love.”
I think she was right.
Sometimes accepting help isn’t just about allowing someone to lighten our load. Sometimes it’s about giving someone else the opportunity to love.
I certainly don’t want to stand in the way of that blessing.