“In everyone there is something of his fellow man….Hence, ‘love you neighbor’–for he is really you yourself.” –Rabbi Moses Cordovero
This well known commandment from the Bible is often understood to mean we should love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves. I’ve even believed that, in order to keep this commandment, a person must first learn to love herself.
Recently, however, I learned from author Lois Tverberg that the Hebrew word translated as “yourself” can also mean “who is similar to yourself.” That small shift offers an entirely different perspective on how to live out this commandment.
More alike than different
After traveling around the world, I have come to realize that I am no different–no better and no worse–than anyone else. Every culture offers unique experiences, beliefs, traditions, and values, yet humanity remains remarkably the same. We are born and we die. We have grandparents and children. We bleed and grow sick just as we laugh and love. As the saying goes, we all put our pants on one leg at a time.
The problem is that we forget our similarities far too easily.
The pink-haired girl at the register is trying to make a living just like I am. The person who takes smoke breaks at work while I stay on the clock handles stress differently than I do, but we both carry stress and search for comfort. And the two people attending different churches across town both love God.
In a world eager to divide us over politics, oil, land, and ideology, I find it essential to remember to love my neighbor who is similar to myself. When I look at my rival, I can choose to see an enemy or I can choose to see a fellow human.
Better together
This truth became especially clear to me recently when my directive at work shifted from competition to collaboration. In previous years, competing against a rival was not only encouraged but celebrated, and I participated willingly. But with this new direction, I realize how much more authentic collaboration feels to me. I’ve always believed we are better together and that partnership serves people more effectively than rivalry ever could. Through that lens, I now see what used to be a competitor in an entirely different way. Both entities are simply working toward the common good.
I’ve seen this kind of switch happen many times over my life, and it makes me wonder: What transforms a mother-in-law into a best friend? What changes a rival co-worker into a trusted colleague? What ends a feud instead of fueling it? What makes it possible to be divorced and still remain family?
For me, it comes down to love. Loving your neighbor who is similar to yourself. This is what helps me find common ground. And common ground is where everything begins.