I’ve always believed in the power of words. Sticks and stones may break bones, but words can devastate like a wildfire.
It is easy to focus on the big offenses of the tongue: lying, slander, and bearing false witness. Yet, I am aware that there is danger in even the smallest spark.
Negative Truth
I recently learned a new word from the Jewish tradition. Lashon hara refers to telling negative truths about people that are unnecessary and damaging. Outside of the obvious offense of lying, this simple habit can do devastating damage.
I often catch myself sharing a negative truth to receive sympathy or taint someone’s option of the situation. I have allowed my sentences to start with “I really like him/her, but it’s annoying when…” That sentence almost always ends with a negative truth.
It is a spark falling on dry, parched land, becoming kindling for a raging fire of destruction. It destroys relationship, undermines trust, and robs me of joy.
The truth may be that a supervisor was unnecessarily harsh or a family member was particularly selfish. A colleague might repeatedly make unilateral decisions, and a partner may have said hurtful words.
Does it ease my conscious to know I didn’t say anything untrue? Does it quench the flames of devastation because what I shared was true?
Was it necessary?
In most cases, it wasn’t necessary. I used a damaging truth to make myself look or feel better. I shared hurtful truths to be accepted or supported. I might have even hoped for reassurance of how unfair I was treated.
And the fire consumes all in its path.
It taints the hearer. It hurts the target of the negative truth. It consumes the speaker until there is little self-respect left.
So I must place myself under a burn ban. I will stay alert for a fire danger warning. When I think those subtle phrases prefacing what I’m about to say, I will exercise caution.
Because it’s harder to put out a wildfire than to start one.