We need the light of each other

I sit and look around my special space during this holiday season. It’s cluttered, a lot like my mind. Surrounding me are gifts I want to give, work I need to do, art or writing I have created, an award I was presented, a candle from my son and a rainbow unicorn pop-it. This is my space because this is me.

Above the door is a sign from my dad’s house. He used to say, “I can fix anything but a broken heart and I can make that feel better,” so we gave him the sign with similar sentiments. I can’t remember the actual last time that I talked to him on the phone. I didn’t know it was the last time I visited him in person. But, I cherish his last voicemail to me. I listen to it every once and awhile just to hear his voice and hear him tell me that he loves me. 

On the wall are some cardinals, which were my grandmother’s favorite. Next to it, are the words on a wall plaque that she loved and gave to me, “…Any good, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness I can show…let me not defer or neglect…” I do remember my last moments with her as I sat by her side the night before she passed. Those memories are cherished, yet I wish I would have reached out or visited more in those last months.

Isn’t it funny how we don’t realize what we have until it is gone or threatened to be taken away. Friends neglect to call or text for months. Family members don’t visit or see one another in person. We get so busy living life, and we take for granted that there will be time to connect, to say “I love you,” and to be together. 

I learned about a Blue Christmas for the first time this year. It is often conducted on or near the longest night, or winter solstice, to honor those who have lost loved ones or are experiencing grief. I learned “the common theme is dropping the usual merry and bright, and recognizing the hard stuff.” 

Everyone has hard stuff, and sometimes it can feel heavier during the holidays. Sitting in my special space, I am reminded to send a text or handwritten note with love. I am encouraged to not be slow to pick up the phone to chat or leave a voicemail. And, I will strive to not put off visiting those I love. Together the darkness can be made a little more bearable with the light of each other.