When was the last time you were told “no”? As a two year old, I might have argued with a defiant “yes,” burst into tears, or even thrown myself on the floor, kicking and screaming. But as an adult, I’m expected to handle being told “no” differently. That doesn’t make it any easier to hear.
The sting of rejection
Recently, a loved one and I each received a “no” during an application process. Neither of us would have applied if we hadn’t believed in our chances. But instead of the outcome we hoped for, we received messages that stung: No, you haven’t been selected. No, you’re not ready. No, we’ve decided to go in a different direction. No, we don’t think you’re a good fit. These heart-breaking responses carried the weight of disappointment, discouragement, and self-doubt. It’s hard to be told “no.”
When hard work ends in being told “no”
At work, I encountered a different kind of “no.” After weeks of hard work on a project I was proud of–one that reflected both my skills and careful attention to detail–I received a blunt rejection. The project wasn’t moving forward. Just like that, its destination became the trash bin, erased with the click of a button. It was heartbreaking and disappointing. Frustration bubbled up. After so much effort, all I had left was a crushing sense of helplessness. The decision was final, and the answer was “no.”
Honestly, I wanted to revert to my two-year-old self. I wanted to argue, cry, and demand a different answer. A small part of me longed to throw a full-blown tantrum–slamming doors, shouting, making sure my hurt and frustration was seen. But instead, I chose something harder. I swallowed my pride. Tears brimmed as I chose quiet acceptance.
Finding the meaning in “no”
Later, my loved one and I talked at length about receiving a “no.” We talked about the emotions, the possible reasons, and the uncertainty of what came next. More than anything, we reminded ourselves of one simple truth: acceptance is the key. Maybe our “no” is making room for a greater “yes.” Maybe rejection is just redirection. Time will tell.
But in the meantime, the real gift in the “no” is growth–growth in how I respond, how I perceive others, how I approach the next project, and how I reach for the next opportunity. Because “no” isn’t an ending; it’s just the next step up.
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