A friend of mine recently celebrated 10 years of living in the United States. Her English is impeccable as a teacher of elementary-age students in central Nebraska. As part of her celebration, she asked people to post an idiom because idioms were the most challenging part of learning the English language for her.
Pause: A lesson from the English teacher in me.
An idiom is a group of words put together in a phrase that has meaning unrelated to the individual words in a phrase. For example, one might say, “It’s raining cats and dogs.” We know that this phrase means it is raining hard, not that dogs and cats are falling from the sky.
Resume: Back to Roxanne’s Reflection
As I mentioned in a recent blog, I am a word’s girl. Words sink in for me deeply. Words of affirmation warm my heart immensely. Words of criticism not only hurt, but also ruminate with me for a long time. I was 40+ years old when someone first told me that it was none of my business what others thought of me. This was shocking, brand new information to me. When people dislike or disapprove of me, it is simply their opinion based on their world views and beliefs. It has nothing to do with me and is none of my business. When people rave about something I’ve done or appreciate me, it is simply their opinion based on their world views and beliefs. It has nothing to do with me and is none of my business.
Here is where I wish the idiom “like water off a duck’s back” could be true of me. I can envision words like a drop of water falling on my skin, beading up and rolling off me onto the ground. Interestingly, a duck has a gland near its tail that secretes a wax-like, oily substance. As the duck uses its bill to spread the substance over its feathers, it creates a water-resistant coating. As a human, I think this would be a wonderful evolutionary trait to gain concerning words rather than water.
While I would miss the joy that comes from words of affirmation, I know that my overall existence would be better if I did not let words soak in. The truth is that knowing who I am and the value I bring to the planet is the best wax-like, oily substance that I have for allowing those words to roll off of me like water off a duck’s back.
Love this!! It’s true – it does hurt when others disapprove of us, or don’t gravitate towards us. BUT, it’s also true that this isn’t on us. It’s someone else’s opinion, and it’s on them. We can’t carry that load. It’s easier said than done, but I appreciate this well-written reminder! 🙂
This is something for me to think about. As you mentioned, I also can be injured easily by words. Thank you for your thoughtful words.