Did anyone notice? You’re not alone in your struggle.

I haven’t written in a while. No blogs have been posted this past month. Did anyone notice I was gone?

When someone is struggling, I think this is a common type of question. A person may ask if what they do really matters. He or she may wonder if anyone notices or would miss them. Doubt settles in slowly like a heavy morning fog leaving everything a bit dim.

The first ray of sunshine to break through the fog for me was a thank you note.  I thought I was doing well taking care of myself, addressing the stress, resting when needed, and sharing vulnerably with those around me. I thought I was doing okay until I wasn’t. Tears, like a heavy dew, hung on me. That’s when the thank you card arrived. It simply reminded me that someone saw me. Someone noticed. Someone acknowledged that what I do matters.

I am always reminded that it takes a village. I needed my village to raise my children, but I also need my village while going through the seasons of life. Over the years, the village has changed. Sometimes the village is smaller than other times. Yet, my village shows up for me with a text when I need it the most, a suggestion of a supplement when I’m depleted, a hug held just a bit longer, and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) tips to help me stay present. My village brings me back to wholeness as the sun rises and the darkness begins to disappear. 

Everyone struggles. My situation is not special or unique. My “hard” is not any harder than anyone else. Our common bond in our humanity draws us to common ground even when the struggles are different. Getting outside of myself to see someone else, to offer an encouraging thought, and to acknowledge her pain is truly the dawn of a new day. Its warmth begins to dissipate the fog leaving the world a bit more vivid. 

Recently, I sat in a room with my fellow humans. They each carried their own concerns. Graduation coming, empty nest looming, relationship dissolving, farm lost, adult children longed for, young children being raised, friendships sought, illness fought and new hope needed. Until we walked into that room, did anyone notice? We, humans, need each other. We do matter. So, we hold on together through the darkness of the struggle until the light comes.