“I try not to be busy. Busyness causes stress. Instead, I try to be productive and rest when needed.” These words spoken by someone I respect struck a chord with me. One of the most common answers I give when someone says, “How have you been doing?” is “I’ve been doing good, busy but good.” Busy is how I identify myself. It is the adjective most used to describe my life. So, my friend’s statement was a jolt to my system..
Busyness vs. Laziness
Then, I listened to a podcast with Devon Price. He discussed the “laziness lie” which falsely claims that we aren’t working hard enough and that the premiere way to self-worth is to do more. In his book Laziness doesn’t Exist, Price points out that the solution to being overworked and stressed is to let go of societal pressures to overdo and embrace doing enough. Another jolt, like a defibrillator trying to bring me back to life.
My therapist posed a question to me: if I am not producing, what am I? The answer doesn’t come easy. I’m a first born, type-A personality. I was an honor student in high school, a Who’s Who among American College students, and an overachiever in every one of my jobs. My to-do list runs my life and provides me with the greatest sense of satisfaction. The stress of getting it all done has become a way of life. So, if I couldn’t be productive, I am not sure what I would be. Another jolt goes through me.
What’s a Girl to Do?
I find myself holding on tightly to a merry-go-round that is spinning too quickly. It’s as if someone is pushing it faster and harder, and I don’t know how to jump off without crashing. I know there is more to life than constantly striving and achieving, but I’ve become a stress junkie who has overdosed on productivity and busyness.
One more jolt comes when my sons recommend the book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. It shocks me out of the rhythm of my habitual thinking. I am forced to question if there’s a more fulfilling path to follow. These moments have sparked a journey to redefine how I measure my worth beyond the relentless pulse of my to-do list. These jolts bring revelations that guide me toward a more balanced rhythm of productivity and rest.
Perhaps true fulfillment lies in finding balance between achieving and simply being, and I wonder, what would happen if I embraced moments of rest and reflections as valuable as moments of productivity?