I snuggled my grandson in the early morning hours before the rest of the house woke up. With a Disney movie on the screen, I watched the sun rise through the window filling the sky with radiant colors. The world was calm. The scent of baby lotion on his skin reminded me of days gone by and snuggles with my own kids. I breathed deeply and savored the moment.
Hours later, the world was less tranquil. The toddler wrestling with the baby, not yet able to walk, turned from squeals to crying tears. Energy bursting at the seams, he ran circles around the room. Poopy pants and mouths to feed made constant demands. The air was filled with laughter and playing, the cutest little voices, and my name on repeat. I breathed an exhausted, satisfied sigh.
Life filled to the edges
In reflecting on the time spent with my grandsons, I realize how much life is reflected in those moments. A new year has arrived. It is busting at the seams with potential and opportunity. There will be seasons packed so full that my head spins, and I collapse in my bed exhausted at night. Other moments will be sweet. Throughout the year, I will experience incredible moments of joy. Yet, moments of tears will come too. It is the whole of the experience that I crave–to embrace the vastness of the life I’ve been given.
I have no New Year’s resolution this year. Instead, I hold the intention to fully embrace life as it comes, not just the easy moments or the happy occasions. Some years I have selected a word for the year ahead, but this year my son encouraged me to select a word that helps me remember where I’ve been. In ancient times, they would build standing stones to help them remember. The more I reflect back, the more that I see clearly what I want to embrace ahead.
Choosing the whole of it
This past year, I mourned the loss of a friendship which reminds me to cherish the people I hold dear. I said goodbye to my mom and several loved ones. The imprint they left on my life calls me to keep showing up with presence and tenderness. I celebrated an accomplishment that nudged me to open new doors and try new things. I celebrated firsts and traveled to new places, staying open, curious, and growing.
As I step into this new year, I choose not to narrow life down to a single word or tidy resolution. Instead, I say yes to the quiet moments and noisy ones, to laughter and tears, to the calm and chaotic. Like those early morning snuggles and those full, exhausting days, I want the whole of it. I’m here for all of it.