I grew up in a world where women cooked, served, and cared for everyone at the table. My grandmas, mom, aunts and cousins moved around the kitchen with purpose, preparing food, setting the table, serving the meal, and cleaning up afterward.
As a wife and mother, I followed the same rhythm. I cooked, washed laundry, cleaned the house, drove kids to practices, and helped with homework. Serving my family felt natural. It was how love showed up in our home.
I’ve always loved hosting, too. Friends came over for coffee with china, centerpieces, and fancy treats. I planned whimsical birthday parties for my kids because it brought me joy. Hospitality filled my heart.
So getting older has brought a surprising shift. When my children come to visit, I’m surrounded by adults, my kids and their partners, who genuinely want to serve. When one son poured coffee for his brother, I caught myself thinking, “I should be doing that.” In meal preparation, the kitchen bustled with activity in preparing delicious food, yet as I prepared the relish tray, I thought, “I should be doing more.”
Then, it dawned on me: I was being given a gift.
I stepped back and took in the beautiful view of my family delighting in serving one another. The guys did most of the cooking. My daughter-in-love shared new delicious recipes while my daughter prepared old recipes my mom used to make. One mom soothed another mom’s child. Someone washed dishes while someone else took out the trash. Everyone moved in harmony, offering to help where there was a need.
As much as I love serving, I am also deeply touched by observing those I love serve. I was also the recipient of their care, which meant I had to quiet the little voice insisting I should be doing more. I had to open my heart and let myself be blessed. In doing so, I realized something important: by stepping back, I was giving them the gift of serving.
Our culture rarely champions the beauty of giving rather than receiving. Service isn’t flashy. It doesn’t trend. Yet, this season invites us to practice it with sincerity. And, for those of us who have spent a lifetime serving, this season also invites us to embrace a new posture– to let the tide shift, to receive with gratitude, and to allow the next generation the joy of serving.