March Madness is here, and with it comes a flood of brackets. While the tradition began with basketball, it has expanded beyond sports. Organizations and businesses have rebranded the concept, creating brackets to determine the “best of” everything from local restaurants and travel destinations to TV shows and dog parks. No matter the subject, the outcome is the same–to eliminate choices until only one remains.
Recently, while filling out a March Madness bracket, I was acutely aware of the either/or mindset it requires. I had to select one team or another, one business or another–forcing a black and white decision where only one candidate could advance. And then it struck me: how often do I utilize this way of thinking in everyday life? Right or wrong. Yes or no. Good or bad. As if there’s only one valid way forward.
But life doesn’t fit neatly into a bracket. The more I experience–through travel, relationships, and simply living–the more I realize that most decisions aren’t so clear-cut. When I limit myself to either/or thinking, I miss the richness of the possibilities in between. But when I shift my perspective, I find unexpected solutions and a greater sense of freedom.
I saw this play out recently around my weekend plans. I had a chance to watch my grandsons and also attend a surprise birthday party. Placed in a bracket, I’d have to choose–only one would win. But in reality, neither was more worthy of my time and attention. Instead of forcing a decision between two “competing” options, I looked for a shift in perspective to see alternatives available to me. I could bring my grandsons to the surprise party. Or, I could ask for assistance so I could attend the party. By letting go of the either/or mindset, I discovered the freedom to enjoy both opportunities.
This same shift applies to relationships. The rigid stance of either “I agree with you or I don’t” can be detrimental. Holding on to the black and white position of “you hurt me” can block healing. Even trust isn’t always a simple yes or no. There is space in between–a wide spectrum for understanding, acceptance, growth, and nuance.
So, while I’ll continue to enjoy the fun of March Madness brackets, I won’t limit myself to that mindset in life. Instead, I’ll embrace the full range of choices available to me. And best of all, I’ll remind myself I can always choose again.