Life rarely follows our plans, and waiting brings both disappointment and joy. I still remember clearly the Friday that I thought I was going to be induced to have my first child. My bag was backed, I stood for a smiling photo at the door, and we drove to the hospital with great anticipation. However, once we arrived, we were told that the labor and delivery rooms were full, and I was asked to return on Monday. With a heavy heart and still-packed bag, I went home to wait.
Proverbs says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”
Anticipation of a Firstborn
Apparently, this experience of waiting runs deep in our family. Just as I faced delays with my firstborn, my mom recounted the story of my birth, her first born. My dad was still in Vietnam, and my mom, staying with my grandma, believed it was time. Her bag was packed, she stood for a smiling photo, and drove to the hospital with great anticipation. However, she was told that it wasn’t quite time. This happened a second time, both instances marked by the hope of returning home with a baby deferred.
Now, as I anticipate the arrival of a second grandson, the familiar sense of waiting has resurfaced. Anxiously awaiting news, I picked up a call from my son. “We went to the hospital, mom, but they are sending us back home. She’s not quite ready yet.” I know they had a bag packed. I’m not sure if there was a smiling photo, but I felt the hope and anticipation on their drive to the hospital, and I felt the heart-sick disappointment of my son and daughter-in-love.
The Struggle with Disappointment
This experience reminded me that I am the worst at handling disappointment. I hate it when things don’t go as planned. There’s a great deal of pouting, bemoaning, and complaining sprinkled in with whining as I resist reality. But as I’ve come to realize, acceptance is the key.
My daughter was eventually born, and that brought such joy. I was born and my mom still recounts the details. The longing was fulfilled. As I write this, I trust that my grandson will soon be born and welcomed with so much love. Accepting life’s timing and circumstances can be challenging, but over the years, and now through generations, I’ve seen how beautiful that tree of life can be. Trusting the process is a much better use of my energy during the waiting.
In the end, life’s timing may not align with our own, but it often brings the fulfillment we’ve long awaited. Through three generations, I’ve learned that while hope deferred is hard, the outcome–whether it’s a new baby or life’s unexpected joys–is always worth the wait.