Recently I read a quote, “The greatest gift we can give is rapt attention to one another’s existence.” Wow! The concept is so true and simple, but difficult to do in today’s world.
The disrupted connection
Following people on social media doesn’t constitute giving rapt attention. The images and profiles people share often don’t reflect their true existence. Filtered images and perpetual smiles aren’t the full picture. Paying attention to another’s social media presence only showcases the highlight reel of their life.
With a smartphone and smartwatch as my constant companions, I also find it challenging to give rapt attention to anything. During conversations, I constantly feel the buzz of notifications on my wrist. When there’s a lull in conversation, I check my phone for notifications rather than pressing into another’s existence or just being present in the silence.
Embracing authentic presence
Being fully known means accepting the less glamorous, unedited parts of life. While camping recently, I began to notice my own stink. I was hot, sandy, without modern plumbing, slathered with sunscreen, sprayed with bug spray, and in and out of the lake. Being around people who accepted me fully, sweaty hat hair and all, felt like a gift.
Similarly, I have moments when I’m angry, sad, scared, and irritable. Sometimes I throw a very unattractive pity party. I am aware that I can be opinionated and judgy, and there are definitely a few things about my past of which I am not proud. To pay rapt attention to my existence would be to see the ugly mixed with the good and bad. The few people who have seen the worst of me and still journey with me are truly a gift.
This is not a rant about people who do and don’t support me, but rather a call to my heart about whether I am offering the greatest gift to those around me. Do I see more than another’s social media profile? Am I willing to put down my phone and be fully present? Can I accept people in all of their glory and all of their stink? Do I allow others to experience and express all emotions with me in a safe space? How often do I give rapt attention to another’s existence?
This gift is not something that can be purchased at the last minute. It is not a gift that can be given on a singular occasion. No amount of money will buy this gift. Yet, in today’s world it is the gift of connection for which we all desperately long. To be seen, to be known, and to be witnessed with complete fascination.