I planted a wild flower garden last summer. It was exotic and beautiful. It was wild and unruly. I loved to walk out and just take in the vibrant colors and random configurations. Yet, the messiness and presence of possible weeds grated against my nerves. The contradictions present felt uncomfortable yet inspiring.
A few years back, I attended a family gathering for a graveside celebration and reunion. It was an exotic gathering of family. It was a bit wild and included even members of the family who were no longer married. I was in awe of the love and inclusion, yet mesmerized by the messiness. All I could think is how lucky one would be to be part of a family like that.
Recently, I attended the funeral of my father-in-law. He is the only father-in-law I have and was the last dad figure I had alive. He was so good to me over the years and treated me just like a daughter. I am so blessed to have been welcomed by the whole family at the memorial service. It may have seemed messy to some because I am divorced, but the beauty of love flowed between us. They are my family and I love them. Once again, I found myself in awe of the love and inclusion.
The quality I’m least proud of in my life is that I am divorced. Yet, one of the most beautiful and amazing experiences I have had is the opportunity to continue to do life with people, even when it’s messy. We humans are exotic and beautiful creatures with relationships and families in random configurations. Our lives can be complicated yet intricately intertwined. While the contradictions can feel uncomfortable, we have the opportunity to create something so vibrant and beautiful when we allow love to be the focus.
I have been fortunate to be part of many families over my lifetime. The big side of my family has many uncles, aunts and cousins. I’ve had step brothers and sisters, grandmas and grandpas. I know loved ones that are adopted and have seen others with no blood relations be included just the same. What I love about love is that it includes everyone. When I experience these wild grown families, I experience the beauty of what it means to live loved.
What if divorce was looked at as a form of self care and doing what is best for yourself?